You need to make yourself a priority. Period. End of sentence. The best thing you can do for yourself today is to prioritize yourself.

If you’re like most women I know, you struggle with this idea. You wonder if it’s OK to prioritize yourself, or if you’re just being selfish.

Long story short, yes it is OK, and no, you’re not being selfish.

The truth is that prioritizing yourself will put you in a better position to help others and to show up as your most authentic self in other aspects of your life. You’ll be a better wife or girlfriend, daughter, and friend; you’ll be better at your job; and you’ll be healthier mentally and physically.

If you have spent so many years ignoring your own needs, here are some steps you can take to ensure you’re prioritizing yourself . And no, that won’t make you a bitch. I promise.

Prioritize yourself by saying “no” to something

We could talk about this all day long because setting boundaries is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It’s also one of the hardest, but saying “no” is a great way to start.

You probably already know when you should say no, right? You feel it in your gut. When somebody asks you to serve on a PTA committee and you really don’t want to or when someone asks you to sign up to join her new macrame crafting class-and you hate macrame and crafting! You feel your stomach drop. You feel a sense of dread. You just don’t want to do it.

But you feel like you can’t say no, that you really should agree, so you say “yes.” And then you spend the time leading up to the event dreading it.

That needs to stop.

Maybe you never realized you were allowed to say no. Or maybe you just never considered it because it seemed too selfish. But I am here to let you in on a well kept secret. You can, in fact, say “no.” Really!

It’s possible! It’s totally acceptable! It’s not selfish! I’ll say that again. It’s Not Selfish!!!

If saying no feels too radical and you want to ease your way into this new way of being, you could try these responses instead:

• Thanks for thinking of me, but I have plans that day (even if your plans are to hang out on the couch and binge watch guilty pleasure TV).

• I don’t have space for that right now.

• Not this time, but feel free to ask me again next time.

• Let me get back to you on that. This is a goodie! It buys you time to really check in with yourself and decide if it is something you want to say yes to without having to give an answer on the spot.

• Try it and see how you feel. You might feel uncomfortable at first-that’s fine-keep practicing!

Prioritize yourself by refusing to compare yourself to others

Comparison really is the thief of joy. And you don’t have to do it. Think of the ways you currently compare yourself to others, and mostly in a negative unhelpful way. Many struggle with social media, as social media feeds are typically full of someone’s “highlight reels”-you rarely see someone posting about what an asshole their partner is being, or that they just cooked a new recipe and it was so gross that they wound up throwing the entire thing in the garbage. Am I right?

Slowing your scroll on social media is a great place to start to pump the brakes on the comparison game. Reduce your social media time by 10-15 minutes a day and see if you don’t feel better.

In real life, it can be harder to stop comparison, but it is possible. It starts with self acceptance. Practice gratitude for what you have and who you are; and try to spend more time focusing on your strengths and on the positive parts of your life. Your energy goes where your attention goes. If you focus on the negative, that will be your experience. If you instead choose to focus on all the good, that will be your experience. It sounds simplistic but it is absolutely true.

As with any new behaviors, the more you practice, the better at it you will get.

Prioritize yourself by surrounding yourself with people who make you happy

You don’t have to spend time with difficult people. Sometimes there are colleagues or family members that you don’t particularly enjoy being around but you kinda have to deal with them. Not much you can do about that, but in your personal life, you get to decide who you allow into your inner circle. And anyone who sucks the energy out of you is someone you can choose to distance yourself from. Anyone who makes you feel badly about yourself can take a hike. Begin to think about it this way: It is a privilege to be in your world and that privilege isn’t given to just anyone…you are building your team of friends, supporters, cheerleaders and confidants. Choose wisely.

Prioritize yourself by slowing down

Make yourself a priority by taking care of yourself.

This means taking time for some good old fashioned self-care. I recommend making sure you’re getting enough sleep and please make the time to incorporate movement into your life.

I believe that exercise is the #1 thing you can do that will consistently yield fantastic results. Go for a walk-you’ll clear your head and are guaranteed to be happy that you did. I always think of exercising as clearing out the cobwebs in my mind and releasing all the pent up frustrations of the day and the week. I work out and leave it all behind me. If you are not currently moving your body on a regular basis, I implore you to begin as soon as possible. Like today! Right now. Go. Finish this article afterwards.

Prioritize yourself by asking for help

You don’t have to do this alone. You are not the only woman who never got the memo that it’s super important to engage in self care and that it is not cool to martyr yourself. You are in very good company. I wrote an entire program about this topic which came from years and years of working with women who were struggling with the same things. So let’s stop this self defeating cycle you find yourself in and let’s try a better way.

If you’re struggling to prioritize yourself, you are in the right place.

Get on the waitlist for my program , “Are You Mad at Me?,” where women learn to stop overthinking and start living boldly. Check it out, and reach out to make yourself a priority. If not now, then when?